


17 Days of Angst: Captain Swan Edition

by diana_holland



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Angst, Anxiety, Background Prince Charming | David Nolan, Baelfire | Neal Cassidy Lives, Beanstalk - Freeform, Breakup, Canon Divergence, Captain Hook - Freeform, Captain Swan - Freeform, Charming - Freeform, Cold, Compass, Crying, Dark Captain Hook | Killian Jones, Dark Emma Swan, Dark One Captain Hook | Killian Jones, Dark One Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Dark One Emma Swan, Dark One Emma Swan, David - Freeform, David Nolan - Freeform, Deputy, Drowning, Engagement, Episode: s02e06 Tallahassee, Evil Queen - Freeform, F/M, Fear, Fighting, Fiona - Freeform, Firebird, Fluff, Freeform, Freezing, Goodbye, Granny's Diner (Once Upon a Time), Hades - Freeform, Henry Mills - Freeform, Hook - Freeform, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Ice, Kid Henry Mills (Once Upon a Time), Kissing, Loss of Control, Love, Magic, Magic wardrobe, Memory Loss, Milah mentioned, Minor Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Milah, Motel, Mouth to Mouth, Mr. Gold - Freeform, Neal Cassidy - Freeform, Neverland, Once Upon A Time, Once Upon a Time (TV) Spoilers, One-Shot, One-Shots, Peter Pan - Freeform, Police, Pregnancy, Prince Charming - Freeform, Queen Elsa, Regina Mills - Freeform, Romance, Rumplestiltskin - Freeform, Season 1, Season 2, Season 3, Season 4 set, Secrets, Sharing a Bed, Sheriff - Freeform, Shooting, Tags will be added, Tears, Trust, Tumblr, Underworld, Wardrobe, Wicked Witch, Zelena - Freeform, baelfire mention, bed sharing, curse, dark one - Freeform, david nolan mention, emma swan - Freeform, enchanted forest, enchanted forest mentioned, forest, frozen, frozen arc, giant, gold - Freeform, granny's diner mention, hades mention, henry mention - Freeform, i miss once upon a time, ice wall, killian is part of the curse, killian jones - Freeform, killian remembers, kiss, loss of magic, maine, minor language, neal mention, neverland kiss, one bed, partners, peter pan mentioned, pinky promises, post-neverland kiss, powers, prompts, quotes, regina - Freeform, regina mentioned, season 2 set, season 3 set, season 4, season 5, season 5 set, season 6, season 6 set, sometimes i use my own quotes, sometimes i use the show's quotes, storybrook, storybrook maine, the black fairy - Freeform, the land without magic, there's only one bed, underbrook, woods, yellow bug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2020-03-19 20:11:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 10,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18977557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diana_holland/pseuds/diana_holland
Summary: Based on OTP 17 Days of Angst from tumblr. I'm not doing in order and will be jumping around the Once Upon a Time timeline. Might not follow canon plot lines.(It was supposed to be 25 days of angst, but I've really lost inspiration for the last few days, so enjoy 17 days of angst.)





	1. "Hurting you was never part of the plan."

She didn’t understand. Why was he doing this to her? He loved her, she knew he did. Even as the darkness twisted around her soul, she could still feel her love for Killian fighting its way through with every breath. Emma knew deep down that his feelings were fighting just as hard to surface.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to lie to you, but I thought that keeping everything a secret until it was fixed would be easier for everyone, especially you.”

“Well that’s just the problem, isn’t it? You’re selfish, Emma. You always have been.” He practically screamed in her face. His blue eyes were icy with hatred staring at her. Chills ran down her spine.

“I see now that I was wrong. I should’ve never doubted you.”

“But you did. You doubt me. I have never doubted you. I have always stood by you, and this is how you repay me? You’ve made a mistake of making an enemy of me, Swan.”

“I am not your enemy. I love you, Killian. Hurting you was never part of the plan.”

“I meant the same for you, love. But this,” he gestured to her broken face, tears spilling over her cheeks, “is just an added bonus.”

His grin was cruel and menacing. _This isn’t him. He is being controlled. This isn’t him. He loves you. He does._ But the thought in the back of her mind, reminding her that she never felt her feelings falter. Killian was always her priority when she was the Dark One.

No, _no_. That was the Darkness. _He loves you. And you love him. And love will conquer all._

“Well, Swan, I’d love to stay and chat with you, but I have more important matters to attend to.”

He turned to walk away, leaving her standing paralyzed in what should have been their living room. They were going to get a house together. Actually have a home for the two of them to be alone in for once. To talk during breakfast and laugh at whatever show was playing on TV. To make love on a lazy Sunday morning when the dew was fresh on the grass outside and they couldn’t bring themselves to leave the comfort of each other’s arms.

_What am I thinking?_ This is Killian she was talking about. He followed her to the end of the earth…and time. He supported her in every controversial decision that made her family doubt her sanity. His love never waivered when all she did was push him away.

She refused to believe their future was gone. She deserved her happy ending with Killian, and he deserved his, too, no matter what he thought. She was going to save him, and along the way she will save herself. And they will be together, in the life they never thought they could have.

_Love will conquer all._ It has to.


	2. "Promise me you'll do that, and I'll never bother you again."

“Please leave me alone. I mean, seriously, do you want to be arrested again?”

“Swan, I need you to listen to me.”

Emma turned and walked away from the strangely familiar man. His dress was even stranger than him, with a long dark coat and a plethora of rings on his right hand. His left one was gloved, but the stiffness of the way he was holding it made Emma believe it was a prosthetic. And was he wearing makeup?

“I don’t need to do anything for someone who assaulted me.”

He smirked to himself as if remembering an inside joke. It made her want to punch him even more than before. This man had somehow found out where she and her son lived, stalked her, and assaulted her in her own home. He deserved to be put away for the rest of his life in her opinion.

But through all that fury she felt for him, there was something else about him. She trusted him, and she didn’t know why. What he was saying was absolutely crazy. But something in his pleading, blue eyes was honest and real.

He pulled out a little blue vial and held it out to her. Was he serious? No way he was stupid enough to drug her in the city in broad daylight. He’d be sneakier, not so obvious with his intentions.

“I understand why you don’t want to listen, but you have to believe me. This life you have here?” He gestured to the skyscrapers around him and the noisy streets interrupting their private conversation. “It’s all fake. Your memories aren’t real. There is more to you than this. You work as a sheriff. You have parents who love you. A family…and others who care deeply about you.”

Tears began to form in the back of her eyes. To think of everything she’s built for herself has been a lie hurts, but she knew he was right.

“My kid is my family. And I have a good job here. And I have a guy who I love.”

“What if I told you there was a man you loved in the life that you lost.”

He said it in a way that made it personal. She felt sorry for him, she did. But to give away the comfort of what she has now?

“Tell me you’re happy with your life here. You have no questions about what else could be out there. Promise me you’ll do that, and I’ll never bother you again. But if you have the inkling of curiosity, take this.”

There was something about the way his pleading eyes that made her reach out and take it from him.

This was insane. Maybe after this she’ll check into a mental institution. Emma truly longed for what he was saying. She had another life; one where she had a family. She wasn’t an orphan alone in the world. She worked to make the world better.  

There was someone who loved her. She felt in her heart that the man standing in front of her was the man from her other life. She loved Walsh, truly. He was great with Henry and respected her complicated dynamic. But there was always something missing. She couldn’t put her finger on why there was a piece of her constantly gone in his presence.

Maybe this mysterious man was the answer.

Everything in her mind was telling her to walk away. Her life was good. Trusting this maniac would be suicide. But her gut was telling her that he was worth it. She knew he wasn’t lying; he couldn’t be. She popped the lid off.

Emma gave the man one last look before bringing the vial to her lips and changing everything she’s ever known.  

“Hook...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave comments and kudos.


	3. "You can't die on me!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little more AU style with this chapter!

It was a surprisingly cold August night in Storybrook, Maine. Sheriff Emma Swan and her partner—on and off duty—Killian Jones parked outside Mr. Gold’s pawn shop where suspicious activity had been reported earlier in the night.

 

“What was the tip called in?” Killian asked Emma. There wasn’t much action to begin with in this sleepy town, and Gold’s certainly didn’t have any sign of foul play.

 

“An anonymous caller said there was a strange man lurking around the premises,” she answered, stepping out of the car.

 

No one appeared to be inside the building, but the windows and locks were all in tact. Although the lights were out, nothing inside seemed to be damaged.

 

“There’s no sign of any break-in. Let’s just walk down the block before turning in. I’m sure someone just got spooked.”

 

Killian took Emma’s hand before she quickly pulled it away.

 

“Hey now,” she said with a small smile spreading across her face. “Not while we’re on duty.”

 

“So serious, Sheriff. I love it,” he said, kissing her cheek softly.

 

They turned to continue walking, searching over Main Street. There was nothing out of the ordinary, and Emma couldn’t help but feel annoyed at the fact that there was no reason she needed to leave her warm bed this late at night. The only good thing was Killian being by her side in either scenario.

 

“Let’s go, love. If anyone was here, they’re gone now.”

 

Emma nodded his way, and they started back towards the car.

 

It all happened so suddenly.

 

A loud crack whipped through the still air in an instant. Killian acted on instinct, grabbing Emma and pinning her to the cold sidewalk. He jumped up with his gun drawn but found no one to be there, except a chill in the air.

 

“Emma!” he yelled to her, taking her hand to help her stand up. “Are you all right?”

 

She wiped the hair out of her face with a deep sigh. Her green eyes widened in fear. Although Killian was wearing all black, she could see the stream of red dripping down his bare arm.

 

“Oh my God. Killian, you’re bleeding.”

 

He stared at her confused, looking down at himself. He found what she was staring at and locked eyes with her.

 

“We have to get you to a hospital,” she said in a panic, holding his hand in an iron grip.

 

“Swan, it’s not my blood.”

 

She saw the fear in his eyes before touching the tender spot on her stomach. Killian cried out hoarsely as she collapsed in his arms.

 

Holding her head and cradling her body, Killian struggled to pull out his phone with shaky hands to call for an ambulance. Emma heard the distant sound of Killian’s sweet voice on the phone, but she couldn’t pay attention to the words. If she thought of how scared his voice sounded, she would surely fall apart.

 

Though her body was going numb and the amount of blood she was laying in made her lightheaded, she had to stay strong for Killian.

 

“Okay, Emma. Help is on the way, okay? Can you hear me?”

  
She nodded quickly, trying to keep her breathing even.

 

“Just a bit longer. You can’t die on me, Emma, please. I love you so much. So so much.”

 

She groaned when he pushed hard on her wound. The pain radiated throughout her whole body, but she tried to not let it show. She’ll be okay. He wouldn’t let anything happen to her.

 

A few of Killian’s tears fell onto Emma’s cheeks. At least that’s what she thought. Or maybe it was just raining.

 

“You’re so beautiful,” she whispered to her lover with a weak smile.

 

And then she fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave comments and kudos.


	4. "Let go of me."

“Please, Emma. Let me explain.”

 

Emma ignored Killian’s pleas as she rushed towards the door. After having just walked in on her fiancé about to burn the dreamcatcher containing his memory of murdering her grandfather decades ago, she wasn’t really up for hearing anything from him. Emma knew there had to be a reasonable explanation; there had to be a reason behind what he had done in the past. But Killian keeping this from her? Killian about to burn away the memories in solitude? That was unacceptable. And it hurt more than she would have thought.

 

“Swan, please.”

 

He followed her to the door and reached out to grab her hand. She had to listen to him. She just had to. There was no ill-will behind his actions. He thought it would be easier this way for everyone.

 

He thought wrong.

 

As soon as Killian’s hand touched Emma’s, she tried to yank it away as if the touch had stung, but he held on.

 

“Let go of me, Killian.”

 

“Please, please just listen—”

 

“How could you keep this from me?” she demanded. “I thought you were better than that, Hook.”

 

 _Hook_. It was his turn to flinch from the pain. She knew it would hit a soft spot within him, but she couldn’t feel enough mercy to care. He released her.

 

“I was trying to save you from this. I love you, Emma, and I didn’t want to put you into a position where you had to choose between me and your father.”

 

She left out an emotionless laugh. “You love me? Apparently not enough to realize that _nothing_ could have turned me against you. You would know that I would always stand by your side.” She quickly brushed away a few tears that had slipped out. “I guess we don’t know each other as well as we thought.”

 

He couldn’t believe this was happening. His chest clenched as his eyes lowered to Emma’s hand—the one he had grabbed. The one with the ring.

 

Her eyes never leaving his face, she pulled off the engagement ring with such ease, you’d think it never belonged there in the first place.

 

“I can’t have this,” she said, her voice breaking slightly. She handed it back to him as unwillingly as he seemed to take it. “I just don’t think you understand what this means to me. Not like I thought you did.”

 

Emma turned and walked out into the freezing night, tightening her scarf as she went. Killian let her go, standing alone in their house with his own broken heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had some free time lately so I should be able to update somewhat frequently for a while. Please leave comments and kudos!


	5. "I know you've moved on, but I'm still in love with you."

Emma grabbed Henry’s backpack from the kitchen table and handed it to him as he sped out of the room for school. 

 

“Have fun, kid. Learn something.” 

 

“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered, kissing his mom’s cheek before throwing the door shut. 

 

Emma slightly flinched at the loudness of the bang. She slowly crept towards the bedroom and peaked inside. The top of Neal’s head poked out of the blankets, followed by a loud snore. 

 

Relieved that he was still peacefully asleep, she returned to the kitchen to finish her cup of coffee. They both had the day off, and Emma eagerly awaited for her fiancé to wake up. Fiancé. It felt weird for her to think of him that way considering the history of their first meeting, reunion, and everything in between. 

 

She decided to surprise him with some of his favorite donuts from the bakery down the street. She grabbed her signature red, leather jacket and wrote a quick note before heading out. 

 

Emma was barely out of their apartment and onto the wet street when a familiar dark haired man approached her. His eyes were bluer than the sea, full of adventure and compassion. 

 

“Swan,” he breathed, a grin spreading across his flawless face. She couldn’t help but feel a tingling sensation in the pit of her stomach. However, guilt soon chased the butterflies away.

 

“Killian…What are you doing here?” 

 

“I came to see you,” he said, taking a few steps forward. He only paused after seeing the diamond on her left ring finger. Disappointment flooded his features. “I miss you.” 

 

Everything was about to fall apart. When Killian left to sail the seas with his brother, it broke her heart. She really thought they would be together for the rest of their lives. He was the one. She was devastated when he left, knowing there would be no connection or communication between them, ultimately leading to their end. 

 

Emma was torn. Neal was there for her when she needed a friend. He made her laugh when being happy seemed impossible. He helped carry the weight on her shoulders. He picked up the pieces left behind. She loved Neal, truly. But the love she felt for him was nowhere near the passion and lust she experienced when she was with Killian. 

 

“I don’t think you should be here.” She looked back to the apartment, hoping Neal was still asleep and wouldn’t look out the window.    

 

“I know this is unexpected and terrible of me to drop in so suddenly. I know I could make things so much easier on you by walking away. And I know you’ve moved on, but I’m still in love with you.”  

 

“If you loved me you wouldn’t have left,” Emma answered with a breath of fire. He’s right. He could make things so much easier. He’s screwing everything up by appearing on her doorstep, expressing all the feelings they left unresolved. 

 

She could see the regret in his eyes, but didn’t want to give in. She was engaged to someone else. Her life was good and whole. She didn’t past love to ruin it. 

 

“I made a terrible mistake; one that I would take back if I could. But I want you to know I’m here, and I’m going to fight for you, Emma. Because I know that under all that anger, you still love me too.”

 

She laughed without humor. “You’re going to fight for me? I’m with someone else. I’m getting married in a few months.” 

 

“A man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets,” Killian expressed with earnest determination. “You know how I feel. If you can return to your life with the information you have, then so be it. And I’ll leave you alone to be happy. But if you can’t, then I’ll be staying at Granny’s for the time being.” He handed her a slip of paper with his phone number and room information. 

 

When their fingertips touched, she felt the same excitement she felt when they first met and fell in love. He held her hand for few minutes too long; she felt cold when he pulled away. 

 

“I’ll see you around, Swan.” She couldn’t help but watch him as he walked away with the piece of paper burning a hole in her coat pocket. Things had just got complicated. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave comments, kudos, and any suggestions.


	6. "I can't marry you. I'm sorry."

Today was the big day. Killian Jones would finally get to marry Emma Swan. He had fallen in love with her the first moment he saw her back in the Enchanted Forest. He had played the part of someone else, but she was too smart to be fooled by him. His false loyalties led him to try to join her side in the fight to Storybrook. When she tricked him, he had never felt a betrayal like that before, and the devastation surprised him. It was then that he knew she was something different. It made him love her even more.

 

Through lows and highs, in the darkness and light, they always found their way back to each other. They traveled across realms and it was finally their time to have their happy ending. They were even in the book. Together. Everything was almost perfect.

 

But the horrid Black Fairy dropped in to ruin everything. Shortly after David left the Jolly Roger, the Devil herself came with a message.

 

“Hello, handsome.” She smiled eerily and looked him up and down, a sinister look in her eye.

 

“What do you want?” Killian was immediately on guard from the black witch.

 

Her smile matched her heart: wicked and cruel. “I have a proposition for you, Captain.”

 

* * *

 

Killian walked over to his and Emma’s house, dreading it every step of the way. He knew this would hurt her, and he’s done that enough already. He would rather die than do this to her, but that wasn’t one of the options. Either he do this, or she dies. Maybe they could find a way out of this. He knows the time this happened with Zelena turned sour and would have easily been fixed if he just went to Emma.

 

He couldn’t risk it. Wouldn’t risk it. There was no life without Emma in it, and a lot of others felt that way. She’s the Savior. They need her. And he needs her alive, even if he can’t be happy with her.

 

Hesitantly, he opened the door and slipped inside. Emma was on the phone—with her mother he presumed.

 

“Yeah that’s fine. Hey, I gotta go, but I’ll see you soon. Love you, too. Okay, bye.”

 

She came over to him and brushed her lips against his. It was a warm greeting, but she could tell there was something wrong. He couldn’t hide anything from her.

 

“What’s going on?”

 

“We need to talk.”

 

“Do we need to postpone the honeymoon? I already got David covering for me at the station,” she said with a smile. She was trying to make light of the situation; she had no idea what was coming next.

 

“We can’t get married, Swan,” he mumbled under his breath. It hurt so much to say out loud. He just had to remind himself that this was to keep her safe.

 

She sighed. “Look, I know everything’s been crazy with the Black Fairy lately, but you’ve said yourself that we can’t put our lives on hold whenever there’s a crisis. If we push it back then—”

 

“No. That’s not what I mean. I mean we can’t get married at all.”

 

The confusion spread across her face quickly turned to hurt. He didn’t want to do this, especially knowing her history with trust. He was throwing that all away.

 

“What are you talking about

 

“I can’t marry you. I’m sorry.”

 

“Yes, I heard that,” she said through her teeth. “Why? What’s going on?”

 

He wasn’t sure what to say that would make her believe him and let him go.

 

“That time we spent apart recently has made me realize that maybe we’re best on our own.” _I never want to be anywhere without you._ “It was freeing.” _It was the worst experience of my life._ “I’m leaving, and I won’t be back.” _Not a day will go by where I won’t think of you._

 

She stepped closer, looking him in the eyes. “Is someone threatening you?”

 

“No,” he answered too fast. There was no way the Black Fairy wouldn’t be watching to make sure he wasn’t trying to trick her.

 

“Okay, if that’s how you feel.” She knew he was lying and was playing along. He didn’t think he could love her any more than he already did, but she was always proving him wrong. “Pack your bags and go,” she said more forcefully. Playing the part.

 

“I’m sorry, love.” _I love you._

 

“I hope you figure yourself out, Killian.” _We’ll figure this out together._

  



	7. "I'm not good for you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not crazy about this chapter, but I really love this arc in the show, so I put a twist on it to fit the story.

Apparently, the townspeople of Storybrook don’t understand the concept of someone wanting to be left alone. Emma’s phone wouldn’t stop ringing, calls flooding in from her mom, dad, son, and even Regina. Why couldn’t they understand that she was protecting them? Her magic was out of control and until she could handle it herself, she couldn’t risk hurting someone she loved.

 

She’d never forgive herself.

 

The look on her mother’s face when she hurt her father will haunt her every night. The lightpost could’ve landed on Killian’s head if David didn’t step in. Even thinking of the possible consequences made her sick to her stomach. No way could she be trusted.  

 

She stared at her hands in the emptiness of the woods, watching them twitch and spark at the sense of her uneasiness. She was muttering to herself, trying to calm down, when a twig snapped behind her and footsteps approached. She jerked around quickly to see who was disturbing her.

 

“Killian,” she breathed. Suddenly, Emma was grateful for her yellow bug filling the space between them. He’d survived the last 300 years, but she wasn’t sure he could survive her. “Stay away from me. Please.”

 

“No one is angry at you, love. We just want to help.” He steadily walked towards her with his hand reached out. She stumbled back.

 

“You’re gonna get hurt,” she warned him.

 

He smiled sadly. “You could never hurt me, Swan.”

 

“I’m serious, Killian. You should stay away from me,” she sighed. “I’m not good for you.”

 

“You can’t really believe that. Emma, you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me,” he said in utter disbelief. Emma Swan, daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming, the Savior, was telling Captain Hook he was too good for her.

 

She kept moving backwards till she was against a tree behind her. Her arms felt like they were on fire trying to contain her magic. She kept her eyes on him, knowing that if she looked down at her hands she would lose all control. He couldn’t be near her when that happened.

 

Though he moved slow, he didn’t stop. Her eyes burned trying to hold back tears. She didn’t want him to see how afraid she was. She was the Savior. She wasn’t supposed to be afraid of anything.

 

He closed the distance between them, his hook at his side and his hand in her hair, smoothing it back the way he does before she falls asleep. Her eyes closed, and she let the fresh tears fall down her cheeks. He always knew how to make her feel better, to make her feel like she’s not alone.

 

His lips brushed against hers lightly, trying to keep her relaxed. “I’m going to help you through this. All of us, okay? We love you. I love you.”

 

Soon, the pain in her arms was extinguished by his tender touch. She opened her eyes and stared back at him. He was so close to her; she could see how gentle and sincere he was. The fire she felt inside herself cooled with every second that passed. _I love you. I love you. I love you._

 

“You love me?” She still wasn’t sure if she’d heard him right.

 

“Aye. I love you.” He loved her.

 

He kissed her soft again and let her bury her face in his chest. Emma felt free enough to wrap her arms around him—this man who was changing her.

 

She was always so strong; she wasn’t used to someone else taking care of her. But Killian was finally opening up that side of her—the side that was vulnerable and needed extra care. In the arms of the man who loved her, she had never felt so at home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave comments and kudos.


	8. "We'll be safe there. Just come with me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always have really good ideas in my head, but then I go to type it up and it ends up like this. Well, I tried...

Hook’s arms were aching by the time he and Emma reached the top of the beanstalk. Climbing up one of these things was difficult with two hands, let alone one. But the beautiful blonde woman next to him seemed to be holding her own. She took a few moments to catch her breath after landing safely on her feet then was ready to go. 

 

“So where is this compass supposed to be? That is, if it’s actually up here.”

 

He internally rolled his eyes. She could tell he wasn’t lying but still didn’t trust him. He couldn’t help but respect that side of her. The one that was constantly cautious and always on alert. She would make an excellent pirate. 

 

“You really think I would climb all this way to lead you to a compass that isn’t actually here? Listen, love. I want to get to Storybrook just as badly as you do. The only way both of us are going to get there, is if we work together.” 

 

Emma had to admit, he was very convincing. She decided to go along with whatever trick he was thinking of pulling; she’d be careful. 

 

He went to hand her the powder to put the giant to sleep when she saw a tattoo on his wrist: the name Milah, with a dagger through the heart.

 

“Who’s Milah? On the tattoo,” she nodded to his arm. His demeanor immediately changed, acting like he wanted nothing to do with her. 

 

“Someone from long ago.” He walked away; he wanted the conversation over.

 

Emma wasn’t going to let him off that easy. If he wanted her trust then he had to show some too. “Where is she?”

 

“She’s gone.” She understood now the lust for his vengeance against Gold. Maybe she knew where he was coming from. Maybe there was something deep down inside him that was actually good. He was just hurting right now. And it’s not like Gold is a good guy, or even decent. He played them every chance he got; maybe Hook was in the right here. 

 

They had a mutual understanding after that, hardly speaking but working together to set up a trap for the giant to fall into. Emma put herself into position when they heard his loud footsteps marching forwards while Hook acted as a baited distraction. 

 

When the giant fell forward, dead asleep, Hook and Emma hurried inside to search for the compass—though Hook had some other ideas of what to fill his pockets with. 

 

“Stop messing around. We need to hurry.”

 

“What’s your rush, love?”

 

The ground beneath them began to quake, rubble falling from the ceiling. Hook grabbed Emma’s hand, but she quickly yanked it away. 

 

“Take cover under the table,” he shouted over the sound of destruction. “We’ll be safe there. Just come with me.” He took her hand again and hurried her over to the giant’s dining table. She doesn’t know why, but her faith in him is suddenly assured. It wasn’t even the way he automatically thought of a safe place for them rather than risking everything for his revenge, but how he pushed her forward under the table, taking the brunt of the falling debris. 

 

“Hook!” She surprised herself by the fear laced in her voice. But after smooth-talking the giant into understanding and gaining access to the compass, Hook pulled himself out of the pile of rock unscathed. 

 

“You’re bloody brilliant, Swan.” She couldn’t help but smile at the way his eyes lit up saying her name. She pocketed the compass, one step closer to getting home to her son. 

 

“Now let’s get out of here,” she whispered with a smile, taking his hand. And together, they made their journey down the beanstalk. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the hits & kudos! I appreciate it so much.


	9. "Please let me fix this."

Hook flew through the air at the wave of Zelena’s hand and landed in the water trough, struggling to pull his head up for air.

 

“Hook!” Emma surged forward to help, but even as she pulled with all her strength, she couldn’t get him out.

 

“You can’t free him,” Zelena said. Emma tried to ignore her, the background fading to white noise in her ears. She kept pulling on Hook’s jacket, but it was no use. She kept pressure on his shoulders to let him know he wasn’t alone; she was still here. As soon as his arms stopped flailing and the struggle stopped, Zelena waved her hand again and disappeared in a green mist with Gold in tow.

 

The minute they disappeared, Emma was finally able to yank Hook out of the trough and tried her best to support his head as he fell to the freezing ground. She started shaking his limp body, begging for him to wake up.

 

“Hook, wake up. Killian!” This is probably the most peaceful Emma had ever seen him. His eyes were closed, long lashes resting against his pale cheeks. Her eyes hovered over the light scar on his cheek; she still didn’t know how he got it. His pink lips were slightly parted, no air coming out of them. If she didn’t know any better she’d think he was dreamlessly sleeping.

 

“Killian, come back to me,” she whispered. He was going to die thinking she was mad at him.

 

“Please let me fix this. Just give me the chance to fix this,” she yelled to absolutely no one. Emma didn’t believe in a higher power but staring at Hook’s unmoving chest made her desperate. She needed the chance to accept his apology. She needed the chance to see what their future would hold for them. He was good, she knew it. He was worthy of a happy ending, and now he was going to lose it because of her.

 

“Killian, come back to me,” she whispered again. “Son of a bitch.” Gently holding his face in her gloved hands, she tipped his head back and touched her lips to his. She felt the power of Zelena’s spell burst between their kiss and pulled back to stare at his face.

 

“Killian, come back to me,” she kept saying under her breath. His body suddenly convulsed as he coughed up the icy water and tried to catch his breath. He brought a shaky hand to touch his lips, staring at her with eyes wide with horror.

 

“What did you do? What did you do!”

 

She couldn’t help but smile a little and let out a sigh of relief. He was okay. Yes, she lost her magic to Zelena and would have to face her without it. But she was far from alone. She still had her family, her friends, the town. Hook. She had a village of heroes behind her to help defeat the Wicked Witch.

 

“I just saved your life,” she said with a bigger smile. Emma helped him sit up while he continued to cough up excess water. She wanted to get him someplace warm before he caught pneumonia or fell ill.

 

He leaned heavily against her as they made their way to her bug alongside the road. He was trying to hold back how badly he had to cough, to release the heaviness from his chest. But the look Emma gave him let him know everything would be okay.

 

She hopped in the driver side door and started the car without saying a word. She could tell he was staring at her, his eyeliner making his undereyes look unusually dark.

 

“What?” She asked.

 

“Why would you do that? Now you have no magic when going up against Zelena. She can strike at any time, Swan.” He was worried, but she had a new sense of confidence in herself.

 

“Don’t worry. I can handle her,” she said, turning the heat up all the way.  


	10. "I thought we promised never to keep secrets from each other."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> probably should have uploaded this one before the last chapter...oh well! enjoy

Emma was pissed. Just as she was beginning to trust Killian, he turned around and pulled a stunt like this. He’s screwed her over time and time again—most occasions for good reason—but this time it was almost Henry who paid the price for his mistakes. She left her son with him in confidence, and Killian almost got him killed. That was something that was unforgivable. 

 

“What the hell, Hook? Don’t tell me you were working with her.” In the back of her mind, Emma knew Killian wasn’t connected to the Wicked Witch, but the situation he found himself in didn’t cast a good light. 

 

“Of course not! She tried to get me to kiss you as a way to steal your magic, but I refused. I tried to stop her before she took action to her threats, but she found us.” 

 

“‘Us’ as in you and  _ my son _ . You had no right to try and hide that from me. Not when my family was being directly threatened.” Maybe he had a good reason, but she was furious. If she had been a few seconds later, Henry would be gone. She couldn’t let herself forget that. “I thought we promised never to keep secrets from each other,” she accused. 

 

“I don’t remember saying anything like that,” he defended. He was putting a wall up, not wanting her to get caught up in his affair with the Wicked Witch. “I was trying to protect you. And Henry.”

 

“Why wouldn’t you just come to me?” She couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed that Killian was still trying to hide things from her. She thought they were closer than that. It only added to her anger towards him. 

 

“I’m sorry, but I couldn’t risk it, Swan. You have to understand,” he said with a low voice. She turned to see Regina comforting Henry after regaining his memories, but she was not going to easily forget this. Hook had just taken a hundred steps backward in his journey to gain everyone’s trust. 

 

Emma was torn. She knows Killian would never do anything to hurt Henry. They’d grown rather close over the last few weeks; in a strange way, they were like friends. But this was going to take more than a lousy apology and puppy dog eyes to convince her he was fully on their side of heroism. 

“I can’t trust you now. How can I?” 

 

It hurt her to see the defeated look in his eyes, but the wall around her heart was officially back up. And Emma seemed to like it that way. 


	11. "Wait! I didn't mean that!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for all the hits and kudos! please leave your comments and enjoy :)

“Should we talk, Swan?” Hook hadn’t stop staring at her after their secret kiss within the Neverland trees. 

 

“I guess.” It was more of a question than a statement. What could there be to talk about? He couldn’t possibly think she was interested in him after that. Right? It meant nothing, a one time thing. Emma could feel everyone’s eyes on her as she disappeared out of sight to talk privately with Hook. It wouldn’t be much of a secret at this rate. 

 

“What?” she snapped. She started to feel guilty at the way she was treating him after he’s come to Neverland to help, but then she remembered that they were in this mess because of him, so she kept her RBF.

 

He stepped closer to her, his eyes down. She kept her stance strong and confident. No way he thought he’d make another move on her. Would he try to kiss her again? She kept staring at his face then his lips. Would she let him kiss her? No, definitely not. Well, maybe—

 

“He’s alive,” he whispered, finally meeting her eyes. 

 

“What are you talking about? Who?”

 

“Baelfire. Er, Neal. Neal’s still alive. He’s here. In Neverland.” She searched for any sign that he was messing with her. Surely he wouldn’t take it that far. He loved Neal, too. 

 

“What? How? How do you know that? What did you do?”

 

He looked taken aback, but only for a second before regaining his composure. 

 

“Pan told me.”

 

“And you believe him?” As soon as the words left her mouth, she knew exactly what he was going to say.

 

“Pan is many things, but a liar is not one of them.” Emma knew it was true. But this had just complicated things. Of course she was relieved that Neal was still alive; he’s Henry’s father. But trying to escape Neverland with one person Pan captured was hard enough, let alone two. Not to mention the last words she confessed to Neal when she thought she’d never see him again. 

 

She realized she was just nodding, unable to speak. She was surprised at Hook’s next question.

 

“You’re surprised I told you?”

 

She left out a laugh of disbelief. “Well…yeah. I mean, you want to tell me that my kid’s father is alive after you kissed me?”  

 

He smirked. “You kissed me, love, so I think he should be the one worried about competition.” 

 

“He’s not really the villain in this particular story,” she gestured to the surrounding environment. Maybe Hook isn’t a villain in this world, but he certainly is in hers. She meant the comment to be lighthearted, but the disappointed look lingering in his eyes filled her with regret. 

 

“It looks like you’ve got me all figured out, Savior.” He turned his back and started back to the campsite. 

 

“Wait,” she called out after him. “I’m sorry, Hook. I didn’t mean that. I appreciate your help. We can’t get Henry back without you, and I don’t think of you like that.” She was honest in her words. Even though they wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for Hook, they’d never get back to Storybrook without him. 

 

“It’s alright. You’re not wrong, Swan. About the villain part at least.”

 

“I am, Hook. You’re trying here. And I know how hard it is to take that step. We owe you.” She whispered the last part. Their faces were so close together she could taste the faint scent of rum coming from his breath. “I owe you.” 

 

“Then perhaps another portrayal of your gratitude?” His fingers lightly touched his lips as his hook landed on her hips, just as it had earlier. She’d be lying to herself if she said she wasn’t tempted in the slightest. That first kiss was  _ good _ …But now was not the time; she could sort through this mess after she had her son and Neal back safely. 

 

She moved his arm back to his side and smiled. “In your dreams, pirate,” she winked. 


	12. "Just listen to me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to update sooner, but I've been sick all week. Plus I wrote this over the span of a couple of days so sorry if it seems inconsistent. Enjoy!

Killian couldn’t even think straight with Emma stuck behind the wall of ice with that witch. She defended the woman, Elsa, saying she couldn’t couldn’t control her powers that caused created the barrier, and she was doing what she could to bring it down. Still, he felt so helpless being on the warm side of the ice. He’d give anything to switch places with her.

 

He and David hurried back as soon as they heard Emma lost consciousness from the freezing temperatures. He had never been so worried about losing her.

 

“Emma? Can you hear me?” David was talking through the walkie talkie, waiting for a response.

 

“She’s ice cold…turning blue.” It wasn’t Emma’s voice, but the frozen woman with her. They still had no solution to get Emma out from behind the wall and at this rate, they’d never get her out in time.

 

He couldn’t take it anymore. His hook struck the ice again and again but hardly made a dent in the thickness of the ice. David grabbed his swinging arm midair, yanking it back to his side.

 

“I’m not giving up!” His voice was laced with sick desperation. How was David not as determined to save his own daughter.

 

“I’m not either, but this isn’t going to help.” Killian knew he was right, but all he could think about was having Emma in his arms again.

 

While David was trying to convince the ice witch of her ability to take down the wall, Killian grabbed the walkie talkie from David’s hip, hoping that Emma would be able to hear him.

 

“Emma? Are you there? Are you alright?” He listened closely for her sweet, relieving voice. Soft crackling came over the speaker, and Killian felt like he was able to breathe for the first time all night.

 

“Killian?”

 

“Just hang on, Emma. We’re going to get you out.”

 

“I don’t—”

 

“Just listen to me,” he begged. “We’re going to get you out of there. We’re going to get you home and warm, sitting by the fire with a cup of hot cocoa. I’ll hold you ‘til you feel safe, and I’ll whisper tender words in your ear ‘til you fall asleep.” David was watching him the entire time, but Killian only had his mind on Emma.

 

He lowered his voice so only she would be able to hear him. “Everything’s different, Swan. I’m going to show you that I’ve changed, and I can always be the man you believe me to be. You’re going to get out of the ice, and you’re going to have to face your fears. But you know what? I’ll be with you every step of the way…”

 

He trailed off, hoping to hear Emma answer him, but he was met with just silence over the device.

 

All of a sudden, ice chipped away at the center of the ice, and a hole formed in the wall. Killian could finally see Emma again, hunched over herself trying to keep warm. Elsa helped her stand and started ushering her through the small space. Killian called out for her and held out his hand for Emma.

 

His heart melted at the way her arms reached for him, as if she had been reaching for him her whole life. He pulled her through the rest of the way; she was practically limp from her frozen limbs. Emma’s icy hands brushed along his face as he wrapped his arms around her. Killian swore to himself he’d never let her go again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave comments and kudos :)


	13. "This isn't a joke."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more AU style with this chapter where Killian was taken with the curse in season 1 and he acts in place of August. I apologize ahead of time for the mediocrity of this chapter :/

Emma followed Killian through a long trek in the forest.  _ I want to show you something _ he had said. The sky was growing darker and her feet were beginning to ache. 

 

“You’re not dragging me all the way out here to kill me, are you?” she asked playfully. Emma trusted Killian, more than she had ever trusted someone before. Maybe even more than Neal. But with Killian, she knew he wouldn’t betray her like he did. It scared her a little bit how fast she was falling for him, but she didn’t mind. 

 

Killian chuckled at her question. “No, love,” he said. “At least not today.”

 

He suddenly stopped in front of a random tree deadset in the middle of the forest. Emma stared at him for a while, waiting for him to speak, but all he did was continue to stare into the trees. 

 

“Are you okay? His silence was beginning to concern her. “What’s going on?”

 

“This is how you got here,” he said, nodding at the dying tree.

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“This tree was used in the Enchanted Forest to transport you to the Land Without Magic. So you could become the Savior.” He spoke slowly, gauging her reaction before continuing. “So you could break the curse.”

 

Her serious stone face splits into a wide grin and a laugh bubbles up from deep within her. She laughs so much that her eyes begin to water.

 

“I don’t know why you’re laughing when this isn’t a joke.” Killian’s voice was dark and serious. His time with Emma was always filled with sarcasm and laughter but not now. Now he had to convince her of the truth she desperately wanted to avoid. 

 

She was still laughing but without its usual humor. He wasn’t trying to scare her off, but if she didn’t start believing in the curse soon, then it would never be broken. 

 

“This was cute when Henry was around. I love how good you are with him, I do. But it’s just us right now. Don’t tell me you actually believe in this curse.” She was so desperate for him to start laughing, to tell her it was all a practical joke and he didn’t really believe in the madness he was  saying. 

 

His apologetic look was all she needed. She started back, trudging through the woods as fast as she could to get away from him. Just once Emma thought her life was going right. She was back with her kid, her job in Storybrook was better than being a bail bondsperson, she had new friends, and she had Killian. She wasn’t sure what exactly they had going on yet, but she knew she liked it. She liked him. But now he was ruining everything with this ridiculous curse talk. 

 

“I’m sorry, Swan. But you need to stop living in oblivion. They need you, Emma. I need you.” He was practically begging her to stay in town and break the curse, to stay with him, to be with him. His heart collapsed in his chest when she started to turn away from him. He reached out to grab her arm so she would understand, but she shot him daggers and he let go instantly. 

 

“Then you’re all screwed.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments and kudos! Thanks for reading.


	14. "When I'm gone, I want you to be happy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel as though these chapters get worse and worse as they go on. Enjoy.

“Hurry, Killian, let’s go.” Emma yanked on Killian’s arm, trying to pull him into Hades’s elevator to take them back to their family. His feet remained planted on the outside, refusing to move. Emma shot him a look of confusion, but his eyes said it before his lips did. 

 

“I’m not going with you. Let’s face it, we’ll never find anything up there that can save me.” 

 

“But we can still try. We just need some more time,” Emma said desperately. She had to convince him to go with her. She couldn’t leave him here. Not after everything they’ve gone through to save him.

 

“We’ve had more time than we were ever meant to,” he said, caressing her cheek. He softly ran his thumb over her smooth face. He never wanted to let go, but this was for the best. “You should have let me go in Camelot. Don’t make that mistake again.” 

 

She knew he was right, but it still didn’t make it easier to lose her true love. She finally got everything she wanted, and now she was going to lose it for a third time. 

 

“When I’m gone, I want you to be happy.” It hurt him to say, but the idea of Emma returning to her old ways of staying hidden behind armor was too much for him. She needed to know he was okay with her moving on. All that matters is her happiness. 

 

Her lips trembled. “I don’t want you gone,” she said with a broken voice. 

 

“I don’t either, love. But this is just the way it has to be, I suppose.” It wasn’t fair, not a single bit. Although Killian felt he was getting everything he deserved, Emma needed better. 

 

“Just promise me something.” She waited for his nod before pulling him into a hug. Their last hug. “Don’t wait for me. Don’t get stuck here. Move on and find your peace. Please” she whispered against his ear. 

 

“I promise, Swan.” He kissed her hair and pulled her back to look at her face. He gently pushed her until she was in the elevator and began to close the barrier so she could go home. When it was halfway down, she grabbed his hand to stop the gate from closing.

 

“I love you,” he murmured, leaning for a final kiss. 

 

“I love you, too,” she said quickly, meeting his lips halfway through the bars. They kissed with a sadness they haven’t experienced since before Killian came to the Underworld. Emma kept kissing him, never wanting it to end. Killian regretfully pulled away from his true love and pulled the gate all the way down, but he still held onto her hand. 

 

The elevator rumbled as it began its ascend. Emma and Killian gripped each other tightly, never taking their eyes off of each other, even though it hurt him to see the tears running down her face. Before she was out of reach, he automatically leaned in and kissed her hand one, two, three times, just as he had done so many times before. 

 

He held on for as long as he could before she was completely out of reach. He felt a few unwanted tears slip down his cheeks as he dropped his arm in defeat. All they tried to do was memorize the face of their true love one last time as they disappeared out of each other’s sights. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave comments and kudos.


	15. "I can't let myself fall for you again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another police AU with this chapter! And yes I am ~that~ person, making them share a bed. This is the happiest I've been in a while with a chapter, so I hope you guys enjoy :)

Emma and Killian rolled their undercover vehicle into the parking lot of a rundown motel off the beaten path. They weren’t expecting the case to take them overnight—or out of Storybrook. But it was a long trip down to Tallahassee, and neither Emma nor Killian could continue the drive any longer.

 

“This looks creepy as hell,” Emma muttered under her breath. She was not happy about having to take this case with Killian, especially after learning all the time they’d have to spend together outside of the station. At first it had been awkward; they tried to avoid each other at all cost, but eventually their past caught up with them. She tried her best to get someone else to cover for her or for someone else to take this case with Killian, but no dice. Maybe this was all her bad karma finally catching up with her. 

 

Killian held the door open for her as she stepped inside, dead on her feet. The motel manager looked up from her desk, smiling at the two. 

 

“Hi, what can I do for you?” 

 

“Can we get a room, please?” 

 

She began typing on the computer. “One?”

 

“Two,” they said at the same time. She looked at them regretfully. 

 

“I’m sorry, but we only have one available at the moment. Renovations are being done in some of the rooms and the other ones are taken.” Emma was about to pull the police card on her, but Killian stepped in.

 

“How much further to the next motel?” 

 

“I’m afraid it’s not very close. Probably an hour at the least.” Damn, this woman really knew how to make a business work: put her ratchet motel in the middle of nowhere.  

 

“Fine. It’s fine. Just the one room then is fine.” Emma couldn’t take anymore of this. She needed to lie down, to rest. She could stay in the same room as Killian for just this one night. 

 

The manager handed her the key and pointed them in the direction of Cabin No. 6. She just hoped Killian didn’t say anything for the rest of the night. She just wanted to sleep.

 

Killian opened the door and froze. “Swan?”

 

“What? Let’s go. I’m tired.” He stepped out of the way, and she cursed. _There’s only one bed._

 

“You’ve got to be shitting me.” She really couldn’t catch a break today. Pushing past Killian, she threw her overnight bag on the floor and headed for the bathroom. She let the water drip down his face onto her neck and let out a sigh. 

 

When she came out, he was already changed into sweats to sleep in and setting up a pillow on the floor at the foot of the bed. 

 

“You don’t have to sleep on the floor, you know.” He looked up at her in surprise. Maybe she had been a little more bitchy than intended. But to be fair, he wasn’t a ray of sunshine either. Why did he have to be sweet like this? And why did he have to be so attractive?  

 

“Just turn around,” she said unbuttoning her shirt. He immediately spun around and began picking it up the stuff he laid out for himself. It was a queen size bed after all; I guess it wasn’t that big of a deal after all. Just the thought of being close to him seemed unmanageable. She couldn’t let her past feelings come rushing back. It would just ruin everything…again.

 

They were friends before, great friends even. One drunken night ruined everything. They spent a wonderful night together, and Emma thought it could be the start of something new. But Killian wanted to pretend like it never happened and go back as if nothing had happened at all. She thought she learned her lesson before, but apparently not. 

 

She changed into her sleepwear and scooted next to Killian in the bed. Immediately turning out the light and rolling over, Emma found herself not as tired as she thought before. 

 

After awhile, Killian spoke up. “Swan? Are you awake?” he said softly. She considered just pretending like she was asleep, but she rolled herself over to face him. His eyes were so blue and beautiful, but she couldn’t stop staring at his lips; she could feel his breath on hers as she tried to ignore the memory of their midnight kisses. 

 

“What?” she asked. 

 

“Are you still mad at me?” He sounded like a child asking his friend if he was forgiven for taking his toys. 

 

“I was never mad at you,” she admitted. And she wasn’t. She just acted out in anger to cover up how embarrassed she was after she was ready to confess her feelings and he turned her away. Sometimes she’d lie awake at night and think of what would have happened if she forced herself to say it anyway, or if he would’ve just let her talk first. But she couldn’t remind herself of that. They had work to do, and there was no going back now.

 

“Then why is it like this? I just wish things could go back to the way they were before,” he said sadly. And then, “I miss you.” 

 

“I miss you, too.” And she did. A lot. But being around him hurt so much. She kept her distance for a reason.

 

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he said as if he could read her mind.

 

“You didn’t,” she lied. “I just thought you’d want some space.”

 

“No, Swan. You’re my best friend. I want anything but space from you.”

 

She laughed a little. “I thought David was your best friend.”

 

He rolled his eyes. “David wishes he was my best friend.” They both laughed at that. It had been so long since she genuinely laughed with Killian. It was nice. 

 

“I’ll do anything to make it up to you.” 

 

She shook her head. “There’s nothing to make up for. Promise.” She held up her pinky finger, and he took it with his. A faint smile crossed his face. He held on longer than she thought he would, and maybe she was crazy, but his lips felt closer than they were before. Too close.

 

“Good night, Jones,” she said before he could make another move. 

 

“Good night, Swan.” She thought he was going to kiss her cheek, like he had done so many times before, but he just closed his eyes and relaxed into his pillow. She just watched him for a while; he looked so at peace. She’d make sure things went back to normal—or at least as normal as they could be. She really did miss Killian, and maybe things could be better from now on. 

 

He began to snore slightly, letting Emma know he was completely asleep. Touching his cheek gently, she whispered, “I can’t let myself fall for you again. Please don’t give me the chance.” Closing her eyes, Emma herself fell into a much-needed, dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments and kudos! Thank you so much for reading and staying with me thus far.


	16. "Do you even care?"

Killian opened the front door for Emma after coming home from their doctor’s appointment. Without a word, she went to the couch and flopped down, looking completely exhausted. He brought her a cup of hot cocoa with the cinnamon and headed back to the kitchen. 

 

“Would you like me to pick up Granny’s for dinner?” he called. Looking through the fridge, there wasn’t much for them to make. Not that he or Emma were very skilled in the art of modern cooking to begin with.  

 

“Sure.” She didn’t sound thrilled.  

 

“Are you sure? I can always get something else, or try to make something?” he trailed off.

 

“Whatever you want.” 

 

“I want whatever you want, love,” he responded genuinely. 

 

“Do you even care?” she asked annoyed. 

 

“Um, not really, Swan. I’m so hungry I could eat any—”

 

“No, Killian. Do you even care that we’re having this baby?” He felt like he had been slapped, and he looked that way, too.

 

“How could you possibly think that?” he asked. He’s heard the doctor say something about hormones or mood swings or whatever else was happening with her body, but to say he doesn’t care is completely out of her character. He cares about nothing more than the health of Emma and the safe arrival of their child. The days are marked on the calendar counting down to her due date in just a few weeks. When their baby is born, he will be happier than he ever thought possible. 

 

“You just act like everything’s just fine and nothing has changed. Our lives are going to change soon, and I don’t think you’re getting that.” Her tone was angry but her eyes were welling up. Every time she was angry she cried nowadays. Killian didn’t know how to make her feel better. 

 

“I want to make this as easy as possible for you, Emma. I love you,” he said, sitting next to her and putting a hand on her stomach. “And I love our child more than I ever thought possible to love someone I’ve never met.” She wouldn’t look him in the eyes, shutting off completely. “Please talk to me.” 

 

The tears suddenly slipped down her cheeks and she wiped them away quickly. Letting out a shaky breath, she finally looked at him and rested a hand on his cheek. 

 

“I know. I’m sorry. You’re just so calm about everything and this is your first kid. This is my second and I’m in a complete panic.” 

 

“You don’t have to apologize, love. This is way different than when you were pregnant with Henry, and I understand that; we all do. I’m just trying to remain calm so you do, too,” he smiled. His heart fluttered when she returned the gesture. Even after all this time, Emma still gave him new love butterflies. 

 

“You’re nervous?”

 

“Swan, I have sailed the monstrous seas for centuries. I have spent countless years on Neverland, fighting Lost Boys and surviving Pan. I’ve even gone toe-to-toe with the Dark One a few times. Hell, I  _ was  _ the Dark One and even escaped Hades. But  _ this _ is the most frightened I’ve ever been.” And it was the truth.

 

She laughed a bit, wiping her sleeve across her nose. “Really? Captain Hook is afraid?” 

 

“Absolutely. But I know I’m not alone, and neither are you. We have a village to lean on. I never imagined I’d be this lucky.” He took the hand she held on his face and kissed it soft. “I never imagined I’d have my happy ending.” 

 

“A happy beginning,” she whispered as she leaned in to kiss him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave comments or kudos, and let me know what you'd like to see more of.


	17. "I should've known better. You're not reliable."

Two hours. Two goddamn hours Emma had waited for Killian at  _ The Rabbit Hole _ . She told herself with each passing minute if he didn’t come soon she would leave. Suddenly it’s two hours later and she’s still sitting there alone. 

 

She checked her phone once more. Still no call. Still no text. Nothing. 

 

That’s it. Emma stood and rushed out of the restaurant, unsure if her tears were from anger or sadness. She really thought this could have been it; Killian was The One. Now she just felt like a fool crying over a guy who always leaves her hanging. 

 

Just as she reached for the door, Killian opened it, almost running right into her. He opened his mouth to speak, eyes eager to speak with her. Before he could even get a word out, she pushed past him and started towards her yellow bug. 

 

“Emma? Emma, please wait a second,” Killian called after her. She could hear him running to catch up with her, but she just kept her eyes forward and focused. “Swan, wait.” Finally reaching her, he grabbed her wrist and spun her around. 

 

“What? What possible excuse could you have this time? I’m the freaking sheriff and I still find the time to call if I’m gonna be late.” Anger laced her voice, but deep down she was hurting, and they both knew it. 

 

“I was helping David with a case and I lost track of time. I’m so sorry. I should’ve paid more attention.” She turned away, grabbing her keys to unlock the car. “I know I’ve been disappointing you a lot lately, Emma. I’m sorry, okay? I’m trying to be better.”

 

“I should’ve known better. You’re not reliable,” she whispered, mostly to herself.

 

“No, Swan. Please listen to me. It will never happen again.”

 

“That’s what you always say. You always say it won’t happen anymore. You always say you can explain, and somehow I keep listening to you and we always end up back here. I can’t do it anymore.” She was speaking so fast it was hard for him to keep up. Either that or he really just couldn’t fathom the meaning of her words.

 

“What is that supposed to mean?” he asked, his body turning numb. 

 

“What I just said. I’m done.  _ We’re _ done.” She yanked the bug door open and slid inside before he could try to convince her. She knew if she gave him the time to tell his side of the story, she’d forgive him as she always does. Time and time again she had let little things slide, like saying the wrong thing or forgetting to pick something up when she asked. But it was too much now. He did not appreciate their relationship as much as she did, and that scared her to no end. No way would she be caught caring more than Killian Jones. 

 

It broke her heart to see the tears forming in his eyes, but she just started the car and put it in drive. With the way Emma was feeling right now, if she never saw Killian again it would be too soon.  

 

Emma drove off, leaving Killian to disappear in her rear-view mirror; she didn’t even look back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and kudos. This fanfic means so much to me, as do all of you :)


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